oh hai!

back from orlando <3

had a fucking amazing time! saw some good friends, met some rad kids, ate some amazing food!!!

stoked to be back in south florida. stopped by the tattoo shop on the way home... hung with alex and chad.. got the good word on a bike! tuesday i have a date with skott and gurty to put it together.. so stoked.. shani is super bummed :(

got some shit off my chest and hopefully made some things better..

now i'm home, in bed with a full belly :)

goodnight
xo
j

ps.. heres the first of many pictures from my weekend in orlando <3

at some point...

i stopped caring.. one way friendships really aren't fair.. and why should i always be the one making all of the effort.. from now on i'm wasting no time, energy or heart on people who aren't willing to make the effort back.. why should i give all of myself to someone who is showing me only half or at times, less than half, of themselves..

i'm an amazing girl.. i'm strong and i've got a lot of heart.. i do everything in my life with a lot of passion and emotion.. i'm very caring and loving and can be motherly when it comes to certain people.. i like to take care of the people i love and will often put myself out to make sure that they are happy and healthy..  i make it a point to talk to my friends as much as i can and to always let them know that i am thinking about them and how much i love them.. i've lost too many friends that maybe didnt know how much i loved them.. i send my friends good morning/good night emails and texts and i'm always there when someone needs me.. i find that my friends are some of the most intriguing people, and i always want to learn more about them.. i try to travel as much as possible to see my friends since they are so spread out all over the country.. i write my friends letters, i mail out care packages, i make cds, i paint.. i do a lot for my friends so that they will know that they are on my mind and in my heart and that i've not forgotten them..

if thats the kind of friend you are looking for, then hey, i'm your girl! if it isn't, then do us both a favor and kindly bow out.. i'm grown and i realize i can't be friends with everyone.. i realize some people dislike me, and i couldn't care less.. NOT MY FRIEND, NOT MY  PROBLEM. thats what i say.. 

xo.

j

ps. this is me, i'm cute.. especially when i just don't give a fuck. see?

lets hear it for love!

um. where the fuck have i been? living under a rock? possibly. but thanks to my new friend A, i've fallen in love.. Smoking Popes : Destination Failure. yes please. listening to this cd is like seeing a handsome boy in a fred perry shirt (jk.. sort of).. haha hearts in my eyes..

i've had one of the best weekends i can remember.. saturday i went to dinner with chachi and jenny and then down to miami for a show i didn't actually watch.. but i did see a fresh cut skinbyrd get her nose broken by some long haired dude.. sunday we had a get together at skottys.. chachi and i baked.. there was delicious vegetarian and vegan options.. a 7000 dollar bike fell on a dog.. lots of hang out at the poorhouse.. lots of boys riding bikes and doing bike tricks.. lots of me wishing i had a bike that didn't have two flat tires..

monday i spent the day in sawgrass mall with miss chachita.. got siked on jenna coming home.. went to new found glory, bayside, shai hulud.. definitely felt too old to be there.. saw a cute boy in a fred perry shirt.. he was married and didn't wanna be my fake boyfriend.. (haha) met some really rad kids.. got to see miss jenny douglas who i love to pieces.. homeboy found 50$ and bought a round of shirley temples for the straightedge kids in the house haha..

today consisted of work.. lurking hard.. getting stuck at work late.. dinner with my boos.. goddamn video games at rob and chachis with jenna and pat.. late night aim conversations and ridiculous pictures of albi as john wayne and albi in paris... FUCKING AMAZING.

that is all..

goodnight.

xo

j

ps. my new friend is quite wise.

i wonder...

once the dynamics of a relationship/friendship change, is there any hope to ever having it return to the way you'd once known it? if something changes, and you are left with something that barely resembles what you were used to.. is it at all possible to go back to normal? do you just move past it and hope that you can build it back up to what you'd known and loved? or do you just give up and accept what has happened as fate and something that you cannot control or change?