growing up..

Halfway through 29 I've started feeling a need to settle down. Maybe its my biological clock telling me I'm running out of time.. Maybe its a need to stop moving every few years and find a place I can call home, settle down and raise a family.. Whatever it is, here's to growing up!

I had an amazing phone call this evening with my friend T. Listening to him talk about all the things he wants and has gotten himself in life made me look at my life. Made me see what a rut I've been stuck in; how I've just been taking what has been coming along instead of what I know I deserve. He pointed out to me some things about me and my life that contribute to people not taking me seriously. Things I need to work on and change. I needed an honest perspective from an outsider. Thats exactly what I got. It was a nice phone call. Its been a long time since any boy seemed to give a fuck about my goals or what I wanted out of life. And its been a long time since I felt comfortable enough to HONESTLY tell someone what I REALLY wanted to do with my life.. 

I've distanced myself a lot lately. From people, from places. I've been working nonstop and trying to figure out where to go from here. I've got three days off at the end of July and I would love to take those days and run off to a place I've never been. I need to clear my mind and get myself ready for what is coming..

I'm almost 30. That doesn't mean I don't want to still be silly and have fun. But it does mean that I am ready to cut out a whole mess of bullshit from my life.. Drama, fighting, insecurity (mine and others), caring what the wrong people think about me, fake friends, sketchy dudes and people who go out of their way to keep others from being happy.. How can I have the life I want if I am still letting all of these things into it?

I'm ready to be taken seriously. I am ready to find someone that I can take care of and be there for everyday. I am ready to have all of the things I've been dreaming of for years. I am ready to make a life for myself that I will be in love with. 

slow down. calm down. don't worry. don't hurry.

life has been crazy the past few weeks.. i've done so much and experienced so much.. it feels like i did 6 months worth of things in a few short weeks... warning.. lots of photos to follow!

i went home to ohio to visit my family and to watch my little brother graduate.. it was amazing and so awesome to surprise him.. i got to see my aunt barb as well as some of my other family i haven't seen in almost 10 years.. maybe longer.. shani and andy came to see me which was super fucking awesome.. so stoked on those two.. LOVE. ohio was a nice break from florida.. got to spend time with my mom looking at the apartments she and her boyfriend rent out.. as well as having mom treat me to a delicious vegan lunch.. also on the list of places i enjoyed while in ohio: diamonds (for strippers) UDF (for ice cream of course) skyline (for a black bean burrito deluxe) melt (for a fabulous vegan lunch with andy and shani) beelistic (to see my beloved lil kevin jump)..  flight home was scary due to weather but i made it back to florida safely.. (its been raining in florida for 3 weeks.. we are sinking)

photos from my trip to ohio

THEN! once i was back in florida.. my friend brien and his friend javi came down to play at an electronic music festival down in miami.. i ventured out in the horrendous south florida rain.. insane downpours.. flooding.. a 45 minute drive took me 2 hours.. haha.. but it was so so so worth it.. spent the day with the two of them just pushing around the city.. snapped a pic of javi's mom's new kitty, bandito hunter..

returned to work, which has been pretty steady.. not too terrible.. customers have been decent.. had a photoshoot with miss sam guss.. chachi joined in the fun.. got a few pics back so far.. loving the look of these.. i cannot wait to do more shoots with sam.. i hope i can get some in before she runs off to san francisco and leaves me far behind..

today was a relaxing day off.. ventured out to t-mobile to get a new phone.. dinner at olive garden with thrilled alex.. talked to matty all day <3..>

sleepy baby j..

goodnight xo